The Love Story of Two Kids

Thursday, March 29, 2007

♥ 8:55 PM

I'm torn between passion and priority,
it's not even funny anymore.
In fact, it's causing me a lot of stress.
Really, I don't know where I'm heading to.
I'm so scared, because I'm not stressed about my academics.
I don't know why I'm making it sound as if I have to make a decision now,
it's not as if I'm doing so well academically,
that both SAJC and ACJC wants me.
In fact I'm the one who wants them.

I'm thinking about it a lot, that it's not even funny anymore. It's probably the cause of the mood swings. I don't think I'm coping, and I get frequent thoughts of dropping Biology. But I believe I can still do Biology, by myself or with a tuition teacher. I'm getting worried about Chinese O' Levels, it's in less that 8 weeks. I hope I get a B3, and get it done. Get it off my head. Forget about Chinese for four months before O' Levels and concentrate on my Sciences, and History. 4.6 is actually doing more than 4.7, although they are a triple science class. Pretty much because combined subjects, are actually two subjects with combined marks, and tests less on applications. It's like, I'm taking 10 subjects. And I'm not very happy with my combined subjects, because in each combined subject, I can do well in one, and yet suck in the other. Safe combination, but very tough.

But you know, I believe I can do this. I really do.

Childhood Lovers;
I♥YOU

♥ 8:12 PM

And I will never attempt to walk with Sharron again. Shar and I tried to walk to Tampines, I suggested the "short cut" which I thought would actually take only 20 minutes. We were already at Tampines, but Shar saw this signboard that said SUNPLAZA or something like that, but she thought she saw some familiar buildings, ignored the signboard and walked a different direction. That was it, we were lost. We found ourselves near Saint Hilda's and by then, we have walked for at least 50 minutes. ACKKKKK. We finally decided to take a bus, and we finally reached Tampines. And Shar concluded it was a bad day.
SHAR: Today is such a bad day.
ANNE: Well, at least it didn't rain. If it rains, we wouldn't even be here yet.
SHAR: If it rains, it would be worse than a bad day.
ANNE: Yeah, it would be a rainy day.
Oh my mama! HAHAHA. Here's another one.

SHAR: She {blah blah blah} well la.
ANNE: So well that she {blah blah blah blah}?
SHAR: Okay, her {blah blah blah} is good.
ANNE: That's worse than well.
SHAR: How come?
ANNE: WHY DO YOU THINK IT'S BETTER TO SEE WELL DONE THAN GOOD ON A TEST PAPER?! HAHAHAHA.

Anyhooooo, met up with Eli today after school. We had Subway (: She looks smarter in her new uniform. And then, I was thinking of Junior Colleges all over again. ESSAYEJAYCEE, I want you. And then I want to join Amanda in America (: I want Stanford University, baby! I really hope I get some scholarship or my parents can actually afford Stanford. They said if I do well enough to get there, we'd probably move there. Hah, the future of my family in my hands. My life in God's hands! :D

Concert Band's going to HAWAII tomorrow. I think I'm going to miss them ): What would it be like without calling Audrey an early bloomer? To have someone not do homework with me like Maxine? To have to tease Weelyn that she has fate with someone? To have Jo buying my Milo? To have Clarissa queueing up with me at Nasi Padang? I will miss them, I know I will. But I want something from Hawaii okayyyy! Please bring me a shirt/ a pair of shorts. And I will love you every single day. But I will love you more if you can hide me in your luggage, and take me away from schooooooool. I've been sucking up to Audrey all day. I really hope she gets me something :) Have a safe trip, lovelies! And bring me back something but shells, sand, air, and seawater, or the free toiletries from the hotel. HAHAHA.

Childhood Lovers;
I♥YOU

♥ 6:34 PM

The March 15 entry.

I AM A HAPPY CHILD.

I thank you God, for letting me live to this day. Sixteen fruitful years, 192 fruitful months, 5844 fruitful days. Each day is spent with strength, wisdom, faith, and love, and family and friends, that added to the bowl of fun. No party for sweet sixteen, but it will be just as meaningful. It's not all about the party :D A sweet sixteen indeed.

I went out with Deen and Shar yesterday. Too bad Caroline wasn't there, but I love her all the same :D At first, I was getting quite annoyed with Deen and Shar, because I didn't understand what was going on. I mean, all the gossips and stuff. It was as if I lived under a rock. And so I was quiet and felt quite uncomfortable. But, lovely Deen and lovely Shar, got me a slice of cake, and sang Happy Birthday, in an underpass! Oh my goodness, we were like a bunch of homeless orpans. It was loveeeeeeee :) Much love and thanks, you guys. And right below, is the cake they got.

At Taekwondo, people there found it was my birthday today. So they sang me a song, in malay! Hahaha, that's cause they're malay. They're a fun bunch, awesome, I tell you. Much love and thanks to Ahmad, Daniel, Sarah, and uh, I forgot the strong kid's name. HAHA, oops.

And when it struck midnight, a whole bunch of smses came in. I had to pretend it was midnight for Abi. Okay, anyway, much love and thanks to Abigail, Eli, Tiffany, and Huang Chi and Amanda Loy. This morning, Abu, Jing Yin, Shafiqah, Natalie Koh, Clarissa, Weelyn, Maxine, Joan, Audrey Liaw, Petrina, Nicole, Rene, and Tessa Liang. And a lovely attempt to be last but failed, Caroline.

And of course, there was a few who were much advanced, and greeted me even before the day arrived. Much love and thanks to my grandparents, Aunt, and Beverly.

When there are those that are advanced, there are those who are late. But nevertheless, I love them all. Much love and thanks to, Genevieve, Glenda, Joy, Rosemarie, Dineesha, Amelyn, Rae, Chrystal, Yiggie, and Olivia.

And the lovely family, it's going to long. Much love, and thanks to Grandfather, Grandmother, Grandmother, Mom, Dad, Kevin, Justin, Aunt Mate, Aunt Vek, Uncle Paolo, Aunt Cecille, Uncle Manny, Abbie, AJ, Uncle Erwin, Aunt Diane, Paolo, Patrick, Michael, Matthew, Uncle Jun, Aunt Vangie, Carlos, Raphael, Gabriel, Uncle Arnold, Aunt Ivy, Debbie, Uncle Ed, and baby.

But on a whole, much love and thanks to:

GOD.Grandfather, Grandmother, Grandmother, Mom, Dad, Kevin, Justin, Aunt Mate, Aunt Vek, Uncle Paolo, Aunt Cecille, Uncle Manny, Abbie, AJ, Uncle Erwin, Aunt Diane, Paolo, Patrick, Michael, Matthew, Uncle Jun, Aunt Vangie, Carlos, Raphael, Gabriel, Uncle Arnold, Aunt Ivy, Debbie, Uncle Ed, and baby, Caroline, Denise, Sharron, Eli, Amanda Loy, Tiffany, Huang Chi, Abigail, Abu, JingYin, Shafiqah, Natalie Koh, Clarissa, Maxine, Audrey Liaw, Weelyn, Joan, Petrina, Nicole (Drama), Rene, Tessa Liang, Beverly, Genevieve, Glenda, Joy, Rosemarie, Dineesha, Amelyn, Rae, Chrystal, Yiggie, and Olivia.

I hope I didn't forget anyone. Thank you all. I loveeeeee you.

I met Mom at town, at about 1.30 for the dermatologist. I know, tell me about it. Fancy going there for the first time, on my birthday, but well. I found out I have syringoma, some genetic stuff, on my eyelid. It's like, your sweat glands, have unnecessary cells growning. Only cure: Laser, which costs a whopping 300 bucks. But it takes years to grow bigger. So no hurry.
Doctor: It's genetic.
ANNE: And it has to start with me?! Why can't it start with my great great great granddaughter!

After that, Mom brought me to shopppppppp :) Love it love it love it! Mango was having a ONE-DAY sale. {Checks the date} on 15 March! {Checks calender} MY BIRTHDAY! Oh, the joy! I got a top there, and my mom copied me, but a different colour. And then, off to Topshop, where I bought another top. Almost the same as my Little Miss Naughty top, but this time, Little Miss Fun, and bigger. Because Mom hopes she would fit in it someday. Laughoutloud. And I teased her non-stop, saying I was her fashion icon, and all. I'm Mom's Fashion Icon, I think I died laughing! What was that all about?

Birthday dinner was a blast at New York New York :) Great food, Greater company! Dad was constantly teasing the waiter, who was a Filipino too! So it was funny and all. The waiter almost gave us free fries, but Dad obviously paid for it. We made our own cotton candy, but wasn't allowed to finish it, because it was unhealthy.

You guys are loveeeeee.

Someone owes me a cake :D

Childhood Lovers;
I♥YOU

♥ 9:19 PM

I thought it was the school holidays?

Ch'yeah right. Well, with basically 2 days of my holidays gone, because it was lessons as usual. Well, I shouldn't be complaining since there are people out there who has to go to school for the whole week. Now, what was school holidays again? Holidays spent in school. Bingo. But on the brighter side, there's amazingly very little homework, there's almost no homework, but I think they expect us to do revision. Heh, well.

We got back our report slips today. I prefer to call it report slips instead of report card,because now, it's just a slip. But anyway, surprise surprise, I only failed FOUR tests out of EIGHTEEN tests. I know, I couldn't believe I had 18 tests/graded assignments! And, not everything is included! Oh my goodness la! Hahaha, I was shocked that Mrs Lim gave me a note of encouragement, cause I feel that what I have been doing so far, is not my best, and all my effort. I give myself a pat in the back.

HAHA, bye lovelies!
2 more days (:

Childhood Lovers;
I♥YOU

♥ 3:52 PM

This might get awfully random.

Believe it or not, as much as I adore reminiscing, I do not want a time machine. Even if it was invented, I don't even want to try to use it. I would probably think that it's the world's worse invention. I mean, surely we would want a time machine, to go back to the good ol' times, or simply fix things that have gone wrong, wouldn't we? Even I would admit that, but now, I think whether or not it's the good ol' times, or my biggest mistake, I wouldn't want it. The good ol' times, are the good ol' times. If you go back to it again and again, would it feel the same? Nope, because it just happens once. If it happens again, history is not repeating itself. It is not repetition. The present just rhymes with the past. How lovely would it be to simply keep those moments close to your hearts, and think about them once in a while? And you realise, you smile to yourself, learning how precious those memories actually are. Now, wouldn't you want that? And the mistakes, are mistakes. It's just a fall that we get once in a while. We are all humans, and we make mistakes. And, it is when failure come, that we grow closer to him, because as much as I hate to admit this, we only remember Him at times of difficulty and failure. Besides, His plan is perfect, so let's just leave it as it is, and not try to change it, with a TIME MACHINE.

I'm done. That was my two-cents worth of thoughts. Thankyouverymuch.

Childhood Lovers;
I♥YOU

♥ 11:23 PM

DRAMA, I Y YOU.

SYF Camp was very enriching for me, because I've got to open up my parcel. My parcel, being my character. I got to open her up, finding every inch and pound of detail about her, and still on the lookout. Energy level was quite low, because everyone was practically having an "off" day. But Preview went rather pretty, except for volume.

But what was a total turnoff, was the food. There's only one word to describe the food, GROSS. Something has got to be in it, so many of us ended with a stomachache, or worse diarrhoea. And I have to mention, I went home last night, early in the morning, say about 2 a.m, because it got so bad, but I made sure I came back by 9.30am. I still had stomachache once in a while, and I dare not eat lunch, I only had a few bites. And because I was so afraid, that something might go wrong with me (physically) during Preview, I dare not eat dinner as well.

DRAMA, I Y YOU.
It's in the blood.

Childhood Lovers;
I♥YOU

♥ 5:56 PM

I made a few discoveries about myself today, pretty cool.

Discovery #1 :I CAN'T GET OVER KNOWING I'M HOMOPHOBIC.

A new discovery I made yesterday, in fact someone had to tell me I'm homophobic. How freaky is that?! Especially when I'm in a school with lots of girl-girl relationships, butches and what not. Oh boy, hilarious. Well, I don't think I'm so homophobic, that I will cry due to fear when I see such things. At least, I don't think so and I hope not. LOL.

Discovery #2 :I'M A NATURALLY HAPPY CHILD, and I finally know why.

ANNE: I'm getting myself out of Singapore, it's too stressful.
Tuition Teacher: Huh, you're stressed? But everytime I see you, you're so happy-go-lucky.

And the reason why I'm a happy child, makes me an even happier child! Yiggie said I'm happy is because I have Christ in my life and in my heart. Now, what beats that! Wow :D The reason I'm happy makes me so much more happier. God's love can make me so happy, why can't everyone be just as happy? I mean, what beats God's love? Even if you say, He doesn't, that a wrong reason, because He does. You just fail to realise it! Sit down and watch and think. And you will see, realise and feel His love!

Childhood Lovers;
I♥YOU

♥ 4:01 PM

Initially, I had a rather long narrative story, but I'm having a sudden emotional outbreak. Feeling emo all over. Ack, emo attack. You want to know what's worse? I have no idea, whether I am joyul or depressed. Like, coolness. Ch'yeah right, coolness indeed. Mood swings? Mood swings are evil.

I've just gone through a lot of pictures, so I guess I'm just missing a lot of things.
I miss waking up at 9am to take Grandfather for his morning exercise.
I miss questioning Grandfather about his love life with Grandmother.
I miss it when Grandfather who waves at random strangers just to make me laugh, although I know how not funny it is, but I just laugh.
I miss it when Grandfather tells me about the little silly things Grandmother does.
I miss it when people tell me how I was like when I was a kid, they mention a different story everytime my cousin and I are there.
I miss America, and everything that made me look in amazement, and just feel dreamy, and everything that makes me so happy there.
You know what, I think I miss my 2006. It was simply the best, lovely.

Right now, 2007 seems like, coolness, except for that. On the way home today, I was just in deep thought about that. So deep that I forgot to tell the uncle to go in to the condominium. Stoopid, I had to walk a little, but all's good. I was thinking why you are still going on with it, when you know it's impossible. And then I realised, how impossible as it will be, it is just as impossible as trying to stop you. You know what, don't even think of giving me what I want, because you shouldn't even be. I hope I don't get a nightmare with more than 2 weird people popping in it. It's not as if last night's one was not freaky enough, and no one will know about it. I'm going to pull it out of me, and it's going nowhere but a black hole. And as for you, I don't give a poop, because it's not my fault that I did not have the courage to say anything. Even if I didn't say anything, you could have said something. Geeeeee.

On a brighter note, it's oh-so sweet sixteen in 2 weeks, oh loveeeeeee. I can barely wait. March 15, everybody! Refer to the list at the side, for what I want. Cash would do fine, a sincere letter would do fine too. Love is most welcome :D But nothing weird please. If anyone actually still comes by to actually read this.

Childhood Lovers;
I♥YOU